Fine. We’re all just fine.
Have we been programmed to be this way?
Who’s responsible? Society? The system? Is it a question of human nature? Are all three responsible?
One of my clients recently told me, “You appear as a goddess, with all your big dreams, your strength, your creativity, and all your life goals. But you have to remember that you’re a human. And humans don’t always get what they want and that’s fine.”
What does fine mean anyway? Is it like toast with butter, but not marmalade? Or is it just a dry piece of toast?
Perhaps we don’t always get what we want. But how hard are we trying? And within what or whose boundaries are we trying?
This particular client of mine is a consultant. Which means she’s at the mercy of one company, who contracts her out (a slight form of prostitution) to other companies on as-needed basis. She hates the company who outsources her because she says they take advantage of her. And for the moment, she’s fine with the project she’s working on, although she finds it a bit boring.
I don’t fault her for her path and what she believes in, nor anyone else.
The thing is, we have been programmed within this system of ours to follow an equation which more or less goes like this:
- Go to school (where there is a teacher above you).
- Go to college (where most curriculums are the same).
- Get a good job with stability (working for someone else).
- Get married.
- Buy a house and have a mortgage for the rest of your life.
- Have babies.
- And make sure you buy all the latest trends and gadgets (because we’re also bred to be consumers).
The problem with this equation is that we are robbed of the space to feel, think and act on what truly matters to US.
We are being robbed of living an extraordinary life, and settling for fine.
We, the society, have been on the same linear path since we were children. And the system has been designed to make it difficult for us to get out.
If we want to get out we need to be more FREE-SPIRITED.
We need to take control and live life our way and not robotically move through an equation written by someone else.
We need to be more free-spirited if we want to be fulfilled.
We need to be more free-spirited if we want to make a difference in this world.
So what does free-spirited mean? It’s not about quitting your job, leaving your family and all responsibilities to move to Peru so you can take part in Ayahuasca ceremonies (which I’ve heard are transformative so no judgement). It’s about living a life true to YOU and nobody else.
Living a life feeding what fills your soul.
Living a life of your greatest potential and sharing that gift with the world.
Why fine anyway? Why not extraordinary? Why not fulfilling? Why not live instead of just exist?
My mother recently told me, “For earning a Spanish salary (the salaries here are lower compared to other places like England and the US) you live like a millionaire.”
For me, I’m living and nothing more. I’m not a millionaire. I have debt like a true American.
As a free-spirited woman, I’ve always pursued what draws me, learning and trying new things that are exciting and challenging, while meeting some extraordinary people along the way. And with those extraordinary people have come extraordinary experiences. And because of this, my life is a rich one.
And that’s what happens. Life always provides for you, even when circumstances are uncertain and scary.
The point of sharing this with you is to help you pause….and to take a step back….and to ask yourself if you’re living YOUR way, or society’s way? Are you fine, or could you be better?
Are you sharing your gift with the world, or are you burnt out making someone else rich?
Small warning: when you choose to live your own way, most people won’t understand you and may even criticize you for having such a way. And that’s their problem.
You must learn to be resilient to these critics and their negativity. It’s important that you stay confident. It’s necessary to be brave and to embrace the changes you’ll face.
You must be determined and keep going, no matter who tells you that your dreams are too big. Anyway, the size of the dream doesn’t depend on the dream, it depends on the person who dreams it.
Live it YOUR way, not theirs. And on that note, here’s some Sinatra for you.