When I was 27 years old, someone once said, “well Maria, she just wants it all.”
And he was right. I did want it all.
I’m a huge believer in being true to yourself (as cliché as it sounds) ….to be who you really are, to do the things you’re passionate about, to honor your dreams, etc.
And I’ve done so to a large extent. I believed that by living this way and working hard, I could have it all.
I lived in Thailand, pursued and had a career in television, I’ve traveled a lot, involved myself in passion projects, and honored my dream of living in Spain.
It’s been a beautiful, and often hard, journey.
And I realize now that I can’t have it all. Most people can’t. The end.
(No, please continue reading!)
Working in exciting places may mean that you’re far from your family and close friends, resulting in you missing out on important life events.
Living in a foreign country sounds sexy, and it can be. But until you’re bilingual, you’re never going to feel like you’re really YOU when you can’t express yourself the same way you do in your native language. And that sucks.
Going all carpe diem is liberating. And it often sacrifices financial stability.
Being a millionaire probably has its perks. And to be a hands-on parent at the same time, well, I’m not either, but I put my money on very tricky.
And then there are relationships…
You get the hottie who’s much younger than you. And he has many habits that are those of an old man.
Or the partner who is so patient and agreeable. And you get bored because he doesn’t challenge you or take initiative. Then there’s the partner who always takes initiative and challenges you. And he isn’t patient.
The partner who’s intellectually active, and physically lazy.
The partner who’s very romantic, and has no financial stability. And the partner who has financial stability, and isn’t very romantic.
The partner who hates veggies and exotic foods, and you’re a health enthusiast and a foodie.
I mean, shit. The joke’s on us who have believed we can have it all.
We can’t. And that’s ok. And it makes perfect sense.
You can’t fly away with your gypsy heart AND stay to protect the nest.
You can’t always enjoy a high quality of life AND earn a big salary (nudge nudge, Spain)…(unless you run your own successful business)…
You can’t have a healthy body AND refuse to eat vegetables.
You can’t dwell in a big city AND breathe fresh air.
Most of the time, anyway.
There comes a point when we have to CHOOSE. What’s most important to us? And to detach ourselves from the rest with acceptance.
Attachment is dangerous. We’re all attached to our ideas and beliefs about how our life should be, and it only chips away at our happiness.
I’m totally guilty of this.
I’ve learned that not having it all doesn’t mean failure. It means that it’s nearly impossible (unless you’re insanely lucky). Defied by nature. 1+1=2, not 3, no matter how hard we try to make it 3.
I suppose this is why my homie, Buddha, was all about GRATITUDE. It assures us that what we have is enough, and to be grateful for it all.
I also suppose this acceptance is one of the first steps in being an adult. No matter what Freddie Mercury says.
So happy adulting, my darling readers.