Why Your Strength Could Be Killing Your Femininity



Has your reaction to getting hurt ever been something resembling this: your hands are on your hips, you stand tall and say, “F**k you, I don’t need you or any man” ?

I totally get it.

After my summer heartbreak I pretty much told every guy who approached me to f**k off.

But I didn’t want to be that defensive, cold woman. I’m not that woman.

So I focused on self-care.

But it’s not just from our personal experiences where we women feel the need to show our strength time and time again. It’s also what’s around us. And don’t even get me started on today’s politics. My goodness.

Nowadays, we have an insane amount of pressure from society. We have a lot to live up to. We need to have successful careers. We need to be nurturing mothers who also have time to take care of the house while maintaining that successful career. And of course, we need to be vixens to the men in our lives and have smoking hot bodies.

We have the pressure to do and to be everything.

We need to be strong.

And we are.

And because of societal pressures and our personal experiences, we’re constantly needing to demonstrate this strength to the world.

So we must be mindful of such a display.

We are a sum of our experiences. Maybe you had to grow up at a young age and didn’t get to fully enjoy being a free child. Maybe you’ve gone through the pain of growing up in a broken home. Maybe you’ve been cheated on by the person you trusted most in this world.

There is beauty in every hardship. Each one teaches us so much. Each one makes us stronger if we let it.

And here’s where we need to be careful…


In an attempt to show the world just how strong we are, we can develop a bit of a cold front. An edge that’s borderline rude.

We seek full control of everything in our lives and move about like a hurricane to keep the control.

We become less trusting.

We become less nurturing.

We become less loving.

We start to lose our femininity.

white flowerI don’t need a man.

And you don’t either.

But I need to love a man. And I’m not at all ashamed, nor weak, to admit that.

You’ve proven your strength by being able to take care of yourself.

You’ve proven your strength by having the courage to start your own business.

You’ve proven your strength by moving to a foreign country by yourself, not speaking a word of the language and not knowing anyone there.

The problem with feeling the need to show the world just how strong we are all the time is that we can take on more masculine energy.

And women, no relationship will ever work if there isn’t a balance of feminine/masculine energy.

A man has no idea what the hell to do with us if we’re too masculine. It intimidates them.

And it totally emasculates them.

I do believe that in a healthy relationship masculine and feminine energies are exchanged in certain circumstances. And as long as this dance stays in balance, it can work. But women, we cannot constantly be living in the masculine.

We need to take back our femininity. We need to learn how to live in our strength, not needing a man, but not being afraid to need to love a man (or woman, of course!). It doesn’t make us weaker.

We need to move through this world with grace, not with stomping boots.

We need to use our strength to nurture, not push away.

We need to use our strength to release, not attack.

We need to use our strength as a light that leads the way. And love the hell out of those who walk with us.